


Careless Whisper

by KitEmrys



Series: Songwriters - Sirius [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Flashbacks, Happy Ending, Light Angst, M/M, Song Lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-20
Updated: 2015-08-20
Packaged: 2018-04-16 06:20:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4614474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KitEmrys/pseuds/KitEmrys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Years after the war, Sirius has used his fame to become a rock star.  Remus goes to his shows and learns a bit more about him through every one of his soul-baring songs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Careless Whisper

**Author's Note:**

> All rights to the song "Careless Whisper" belong to George Michael. All rights to Harry Potter belong to the great and powerful JK.

Another night, another concert. Again Remus insinuated himself amongst the crowd in order to get the full impact. Despite his press since the war, he still went unnoticed, well versed in melding into shadows and wearing the most non-descript clothing possible. As he made his way front and center, the throng of people fluttered about in excitement. The young and beautiful people in love with his lover for his story, his voice, his personality, his good looks. But it was Remus alone that knew the stories behind the songs; who knew the man behind the persona.

His oldest friend was melancholy tonight. Filled with past regrets and old issues. Remus knew it would only make him throw himself into his music more; make the show more passionate. And through it, Sirius would maybe work at exorcising some of those demons.

The music started strong, as always. A slightly melancholy beat that hinted of regret. “I feel so unsure, as I take your hand and lead you to the dance floor. As the music dies, something in your eyes calls to mind a silver screen and all of the sad goodbyes. I'm never going to dance again, these guilty feet have got no rhythm. Though it's easy to pretend, I know you're not a fool.  
I should have known better than to cheat a friend. A wasted chance that I've been given.  
So I'm never going to dance again, the way I danced with you. Oooh, oh.”

At first Remus was puzzled, working his way through his memories for a dance. He realized suddenly what Sirius was talking about. It was right before The Prank, the one that almost ruined everything. The group was preparing for the Yule Ball, and it had come to light that Remus and Peter, even James a little, were unsure how to dance.

Sirius, as part of his pureblood upbringing, had of course mastered all the major dances, and so casually offered to teach the others. Knowing they’d have to look like prats in front of each other, but fearing looking like prats in front of the whole school more, they agreed.

It started out simply enough. They all practiced steps and rhythms until they got it down, then, Sirius deemed they were proficient enough in theory to try actually dancing with a partner. He claimed Remus for himself, leaving James’ toes to suffer the fate of Peter’s heavy feet.

The two boys had touched before, of course. There was no way to live in a dorm with your best mates and never come in contact. But it had never been like this before. They’d wrestled, slapped each other on the back, maybe even a hug or two, but never this. This was slow, sensual. Moving one’s body in time with the other’s, leading and following and constantly staying in contact. This was being far too close to one’s friend’s mouth.

Remus had felt a shiver run down his spine. The skin on his hands seemed hyper aware as it touched his best friend. He couldn’t help looking in Sirius’ eyes and he was caught. The look was intense, deeply searching, and there was an emotion there he couldn’t identify.

They both stared into each other’s’ eyes as they spun and twirled about the room perfectly in time. The world seemed to disappear completely and all that was left was each other and this shining connection pulling them both together and keeping them frozen, unable to look away.

It seemed like an eternity, but just a fraction of a second passed, and then the music was over and the two other boys’ bickering suddenly re-existed, and Sirius was pulling away, moving back. Their eyes still stared into each other’s, the connection almost physical, until a sound of pain drew Sirius’ attention away.

As Sirius saw to James and scolded Peter, Remus stood, nearly trembling from the intensity of the experience. He felt bereft now without Sirius’ arms around him, gaze focused on him. It was like the wind had been kicked out of him; he’d been knocked into another dimension; he’d finally woken for the first time. Every nerve ending was on fire. It was as though he was suddenly there, awake and alive and aware of every movement and sensation.

He didn’t figure out until years later that that was the moment he fell in love. All he knew was that the next night was the full moon, and the night Sirius betrayed him and nearly got him and another killed.  
“Time can never mend, the careless whispers of a good friend. To the heart and mind, ignorance is kind. There's no comfort in the truth, pain is all you'll find. I'm never going to dance again, these guilty feet have got no rhythm. Though it's easy to pretend, I know you're not a fool. I should have known better than to cheat a friend. A wasted chance that I've been given.  
So I'm never going to dance again, the way I danced with you. Oooh, oh.”

He was so full of anger those next few weeks, he hadn’t really noticed anything unusual, but now listening to Sirius’ song, he understood.

They’d all gone to the Yule Ball, James and Peter excited to get to try out their new dancing abilities. Remus was barely speaking to Sirius, but remained cordial, nearly painfully so. Well known for his introverted nature, Remus sat at a table undisturbed most of the night. Sirius sat beside him, however. At the time he thought it was only to try to get back in Remus’ good graces, like a scolded puppy, but now he could see another reason.

Hardly before the first dance had started another fifth year girl came over and asked Sirius to dance. James and Peter had yet to wander off, and catcalled and slapped Sirius on the back. He remained serious however, and told her flatly, “I don’t dance.”

She looked astonished and affronted, “But you’re a pureblood! You must have learned!”

He gave her a cold glare, “Since when have I ever done what was expected of me?” And with an arch of an eyebrow he stalked off to sit at a table, where Remus joined him and they both stayed all night.  
“Tonight the music seems so loud, I wish that we could lose this crowd. Maybe it's better this way, we've hurt each other with the things we want to say. We could have been so good together, we could have lived this dance forever. Now who's going to dance with me? Please stay!” Onstage Sirius threw his head back, eyes closed, and held the last word, a plaintive cry of desperation.  
“ I'm never going to dance again, these guilty feet have got no rhythm. Though it's easy to pretend, I know you're not a fool. I should have known better than to cheat a friend. A wasted chance that I've been given. So I'm never going to dance again, the way I danced with you. Oooh, oh.”

He’d thought Sirius was just in a bad mood, as countless girls approached him throughout the night and his mood turned worse each time. Now, as the words drifted over him, “I’m never going to dance again, the way I danced with you,” he understood. He’d never thought much of that incident beyond that first dance being his wake-up call about his sexuality, but clearly it was a pivotal moment in Sirius’ life as well.

He was moved by the knowledge of Sirius’ reasoning for no longer dancing with others. He wished he’d known at the time. It may have cooled his anger faster. But on the other hand, that time was intrinsic in shaping Sirius into who he became. He had to learn to curb his anger and think of others.

He remembered also, dancing years later at James and Lily’s wedding. Sirius only danced with him, and as they held each other close a weight seemed to lift from Sirius’ shoulders and he had relaxed.

“This is right where I’m supposed to be,” he had whispered into Remus’ ear. “This is home, here in your arms.”

As Sirius finished his song onstage, he shot Remus a look from under his lashes, quirking his lips up into a small, private smile. Remus alone knew that Sirius had just bared his soul and talked about an important moment in his life. He smiled back, love in his eyes. He couldn’t wait until they got home and could dance their own dance together.


End file.
